01 Nov

You can’t shame yourself into change

you can't shame yourself into change

I recently started seeing a coach again. As a trainer and coach working with people in different ways, I feel it’s a must to commit myself to lifelong learning.

A lot of times, I choose a coach out of shame. Shame I didn’t have enough clients or I wasn’t good enough. Shame I was still grieving my mum and was living the life I do. I felt the effect this had on my practice. Fighting for my dreams had achieved a lot and for that I’m grateful. However, I felt it was time for a change.

One that didn’t involve constantly fighting for my dreams but rather coming from a place of peace and love.

From love for myself and the people around me, I started my own new revolution. Breaking through a pattern that kept me afloat for such a long time. This time I feel no need to fix myself, reclaim my power or stand my man (as we say in the Netherlands). I have an inner knowing that I know all I need to know. Stepping a level deeper in my grief around losing my twin sister and mum, I realized the dymanic was fully integrated into doing what I do. And now I feel a deeper love for myself.

The process I have now is more gentle and loving. From this,

my energy changes into being, instead of constantly doing.

In my vision I say, open hearts see love everywhere. First, make a connection with yourself so you can connect fully with the other. If you can hold space from that inner love, magic happens.

At the moment I am guiding a SoulSafari retreat in a remote area of Kenya. I feel the shift taking place for my clients. Many coaches push a pain point for clients to come into their programs. I always felt resistance to this, and now I know why.

Because.. you can only love yourself into evolution. Transformation comes from that place and not from forcing it from pain and shame.


  1. Karin Masnicza-Etarukot
    15 November 2022

    True my dear sister, its love and enthusiasm of who we are, and a safe environment that creates the space where we thrive naturally. No force. No pain.
    The newex approach in which awareness I coach and more and more live creates that space. That space where all you are is welcome.

  2. Sarah dola
    16 November 2022

    wow lovely ,….you can only love yourself in evolution


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