01 Nov

You can’t shame yourself into change

you can't shame yourself into change

I recently started seeing a coach again. As a trainer and coach working with people in different ways, I feel it’s a must to commit myself to lifelong learning.

A lot of times, I choose a coach out of shame. Shame I didn’t have enough clients or I wasn’t good enough. Shame I was still grieving my mum and was living the life I do. I felt the effect this had on my practice. Fighting for my dreams had achieved a lot and for that I’m grateful. However, I felt it was time for a change.

One that didn’t involve constantly fighting for my dreams but rather coming from a place of peace and love.

From love for myself and the people around me, I started my own new revolution. Breaking through a pattern that kept me afloat for such a long time. This time I feel no need to fix myself, reclaim my power or stand my man (as we say in the Netherlands). I have an inner knowing that I know all I need to know. Stepping a level deeper in my grief around losing my twin sister and mum, I realized the dymanic was fully integrated into doing what I do. And now I feel a deeper love for myself.

The process I have now is more gentle and loving. From this,

my energy changes into being, instead of constantly doing.

In my vision I say, open hearts see love everywhere. First, make a connection with yourself so you can connect fully with the other. If you can hold space from that inner love, magic happens.

At the moment I am guiding a SoulSafari retreat in a remote area of Kenya. I feel the shift taking place for my clients. Many coaches push a pain point for clients to come into their programs. I always felt resistance to this, and now I know why.

Because.. you can only love yourself into evolution. Transformation comes from that place and not from forcing it from pain and shame.

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