First I want to share with you the time someone held my space.
It was the night of February 2 to 3, 2011. My mother was at the end of her life, her breathing was very shallow. I sat next to her and applied cream to her hands. My father, brother and his wife and my mother’s 2 sisters were in the room.
And in the back of the room sat the night nurse. Her name was Sister Engel. Sometimes my eyes met hers and she closed her eyes reassuringly or made a small movement with her hand or head. I was so scared and she guided our family with her energy to let go of everything, both for my mother and for us. While she was knitting in a corner of the room.
An hour after my mother passed away, she touched my shoulder and whispered, let’s do the rituals, and together with my aunts and with her I did the last rites and dressed her, put mascara on her eyelids because my mother loved her make up. To look like a lady. During that process, we were silent. Sister Engel silently beckoned me, held my shoulder, and encouraged me with her eyes and presence
After this ritual I sat in the dark of the night, I did not see Sister Engel come, nor did I see or hear her go. Yet she is one of the most important people in my life who has made a big impact. She guided me through one of the hardest things I had to do, letting go of my physical mother.
I am sharing with you a very personal story for me because it has shaped me as a person and as a trainer/coach. The story and experience that really had the biggest impact on me. A person who held my space with all her love. Invisibly came and went again.
Touching the life of another through the art of not doing and following the other.
In my NLP practitioner/master and family constellations facilitator courses, this was something that unconsciously was always one of my core values while I was training.
To bring it more into awareness, I hope that you can benefit even more from it.
I have connected holding space with coaching and systemic work, to make it accessible and practical. Keep it simple. That’s what I like.
Be aware of your impact.